


crayola box feelings

by fondtaehyung



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Character Development, Character Study, First Kiss, Fluff, JUST A WARNING!!!, KageHina - Freeform, Kageyama Tobio-centric, Love Confessions, M/M, Panic Attacks, Skip the blue section if you are easily triggered, Slow Burn, Third Year Hinata Shouyou and Kageyama Tobio, Volleyball Dorks in Love, but only the last three really, i love them, really just a kags centric fic, slightly ooc hinata, slightly ooc kags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-07-14 09:12:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7164956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fondtaehyung/pseuds/fondtaehyung
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tobio feels things in colors. </p><p>Or, Kageyama Tobio has a Lot of Emotions, but only One Person seems to be a reacurring factor when he shows said feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	crayola box feelings

**Author's Note:**

> SO this is my first ever writing in the hq!! fandom (even though i've been here for FOREVER) and it would really mean a lot if you were nice!!!
> 
> this is very Tobio centric as I really relate to him as a character and many of these emotions are my own but if different situations (i actually wrote the second part when i was really emo so that one might be a lil sloppy but it's real and its raw)
> 
> thank you for reading!!!!
> 
> p.s. skip the second color (blue) if you are easily trigered bc there's a description of a panic attack and just general Sadness

**1.**

Sometimes, Tobio felt Green.

As he glared up at Oikawa’s face, an ugly feeling swept through him like a coursing and deadly river. Oikawa made no remark as he stared at him through the net between them, almost expressionless despite the slight upward curve of his lips. Tobio grit his teeth and got to his feet, his heart pounding in his ears and sweat dripping down his neck. He turned his back to Oikawa without a word and took in shaky breaths. _I’m not going to lose!_ He chanted like a mandra in his head, _I’m going to win and remain on the court!_

It was Karasuno’s turn to receive and he was not going to lose. But then… His toss to Tsukishima was too high (too far, what a rookie mistake and Tobio is not a rookie), Asahi just managed to hit it over, Seijou received, Oikawa set to that #3, Tobio was too slow to react (tooslowtooslow), and Seijou was another point ahead in their preliminary match.

The shrill tweet of the whistle that signaled Suga as Tobio’s sub felt like a direct punch to his gut. Tobio felt like everyone was watching him as he walked over to grab his number card from Suga, mumbling out a faint sorry and barely recognizing the other squeezing his shoulder in a reassuring way. He wanted to shrink away, to curl into the tightest ball he could manage, but he kept his head high as he walked off the court, not letting the feeling inside show.

Green vines wrapped around his throat as Kageyama stepped toward Ukai and Sense. They were nasty things, a dark emerald color with sharp thorns and bumps covering every surface. The vines wrapped around his arms, cascaded down his legs and to his ankles, its thorns digging into his sweaty flesh with no remorse. The skin of his wrists were completely covered by the things, and each of his fingers were wrapped by the thick, thorny vines as well. Most of all, though, the knot of vines were wrapped around his heart, the thorns deep and ever-present in his chest, a reminder that Tobio wasn't good enough _(will he ever be good enough?)_. He opened his mouth to apologize to his coach when he's stopped short.

“I already said that I’m gonna be the one to defeat you!” Hinata yelled, interrupting Tobio in the way only Hinata had the guts to do. His brown eyes burned with a fiery passion as wild and vibrant as his hair. “Until then you’re not allowed to lose to anyone else!” There was a fierce determination in the way he spoke and how he stood facing Tobio, his face speaking volumes more that his words (although, those too weighed heavily in Tobio’s mind). Tobio stared at his decoy silently, the vines around his throat loosening slightly. Hinata’s chest moved with every huff of breath, like his confession took up part of his limitless energy and he was running out of air to breath. Tobio narrowed his eyes.

“The match isn’t over yet, so I haven’t lost, either.” Hinata squawked as Yamaguchi dragged him away with a _“You're gonna piss him off,”_ Hinata’s voice exasperated yet slightly relieved as he glanced from Tobio to Coach, a small smile on his face.

Takeda-Sense and Coach Ukai both set him off with kind words after Tobio’s stuttered apology and swift bow with a promise to do better. They pushed him to the bench with orders to watch his senpai’s play and Tobio wonders if this is what it feels like to be part of a team (the vines on his legs have turned a pitiful brown color, withered and dying).

Tobio stood with his arms by his sides and Hinata squirmed next to him, a sour look on his face. Tobio glanced down at him from time to time until setting on glaring darkly in a silent challenge.

“What.” Tobio demanded at another pinched look from Hinata as the match resumed in front of them.

“Geez, your face is scary.” Hinata wailed, a scared look on his face as Tobio barks, _“This is the face I’ve always had!”_

“You get all irritated, and you hardly talk at all, either~” Hinata started up, a concerned look on his face. “I mean, I know you’re thinking something, but if you don’t speak up I can’t tell what-”

“Haven’t I been voicing my thoughts?” Tobio asked, the vines around his wrists loosening and withering (it was Hinata, probably. He was sunny enough to do it). Tobio glared at Hinata like this revelation was his fault, his eyebrows drawn.

“Nope. At least, not compared to the other matches we’ve had so far.” Tobio’s face contorted in an ugly way as this sunk in, the vines being replaced by something else entirely. If _Hinata_ had noticed his apparent absence in the game, that means everyone else had as well.

Tobio watched the game silently as Hinata jumped and squirmed and cheered with every play, his own desire to go back on the court become evident as his fingers began to twitch with the need to set a ball.

“You’re not used to sitting on the side, are you Kageyama-kun?” Ennoshita said, noticing the way the first year fidgeted in his spot. Tobio shook his head once and returned his gaze back to the match in front of him. Ennoshita patted his back and rocked on his heels as Hinata joined the game for Nishinoya. “It gets easier.”

Tobio said nothing as he watched Hinata join the game, his face stony. The vines on his exterior were almost all completely loosened or dead, but there are still some trapped around his heart. Hinata jumps to match a third year’s spike and blocks it down, the excited noise coming from him heard all the way from the center of the court. Tobio didn’t smile, but the way his face didn’t contort said enough as Hinata was praised.

Sometimes Tobio feels Green, but comforting teammates and a small spiker make him feel a little lighter.

 

**2.**

Sometimes, Tobio felt Blue.

It was a creeping feeling that came from somewhere deep within his chest and bloomed into something dark and crushing. It was unreasonable, unexpected, and unwanted, but Tobio didn’t know what to do about it or how to make it any better. His left eye twitched as he stared as his half-assed algebra assignment, but the feeling in his chest combined with his frustration with math in general was too much _(toomuchtoomuchtoomuch)_ and Tobio felt the familiar feeling of a panic attack squeezing at his heart and at his chest.

He supposed that there was plenty reasons to have a panic attack as of late. Guilt from losing to Oikawa in the prelims, obviously, and the fact that Kageyama had _once again_ failed to beat the _one person_ who he’s tried to for the past year. Plus, he hadn’t let himself mourn the loss to Seijou. Instead, he picked himself back up off the ground (somewhat literally), bottled up his emotions, and picked up a volleyball to practice his serves. The quiet critics waiting for him to break, to become selfish once again, to set a ball and turn to see no one there _(why isn't anyone there?)_ were another reason. Watching him like his composure is a small fishing boat and his self-righteousness is a raging storm in the middle of the sea (they’re wrong of course. Tobio is better now. Friendlier. He has learned that from the people around him and he learns more every single day). Even being alone was reason enough, but this attack wasn’t the effect of his parents not being home or feeling detached from anyone in particular. Of all things, it was math that pushed him over the edge. _Math._

Tobio pushed back from his desk and squeezed his eyes shut, his breathing becoming ragged. His heart pounded in his chest, threatening to push past his ribs and jump straight out of his skin that felt itchyitchyitchy and is this what dying feels like- no this is worse, this is much worse my skin feels itchy and my heart is too big and my hands are sweaty and if my hands are sweaty I can’t set properly and if I can't set properly then I can’t play volleyball and if I can’t play volleyball I’m a failure, I’m _nothing_ and if I’m nothing I’m _dead_ and I can’t breathe I can’t breathe _I can’t breathe._

Everything was heavy. Everything _hurt._

Tobio doesn’t know how long he stayed curled up in his desk chair, one of the arms poking his spine uncomfortably. His face was wet and his body was shaking with light tremors and by the time his mother found him curled into himself he was silently sobbing into his hands.

“Oh, Tobio,” she murmured sadly, coaxing the teen onto his futon and running her fingers through his obsidian hair. She sat with him as he cried, his face buried into his pillow and his shoulders shaking. “You’re so strong Tobio, it’s okay to be weak sometimes, too.”

Tobio sniffed and flipped over so he could get some decent oxygen. His arm immediately went up to cover his face, but his mother pushed it away and wiped away his tears with gentle fingers. She left briefly, only to return with a warm washcloth which she used to clean up Tobio’s face. He blinked his eyes open after that, the dark blue irises standing out stark against the bloodshot ring around them. He took a shuddering breath and opened his mouth to speak, but his mother hushed him and shook her head, knowing the words that were to come from her sons mouth would be negative and self-deprecating.

“What happened, Tobio?” She asked instead, knowing her son would give her a straight answer.

“Math.” Tobio croaked sadly, his voice small and broken. “I don’t get it and I don’t get why I don’t get it.” His eyebrows scrunched up and he sucked in another breath, but before another tear could fall, his mother chuckled quietly and wiped away any left wetness under his eyes with the pads of her thumbs.

“That’s okay, Tobio, we all have our Achilles Heel. Yours just happens to be finding x.” Tobio cracked a brief smile and nodded. “Come to the kitchen with me. I’ll make you curry and work the problems through with you.”

“Can we sit at the kotatsu?” He asked hopefully. They both knew that it was well past kotatsu season, but the warm blanket was enough to ground Tobio at even his worst times and put him at ease. His mother kissed his forehead and moved towards his door, nodding.

“Anything, Tobio. Come down and start it up while i make the curry, there’s some rice in the rice maker already.” With one last soft smile, his mother left the room, leaving him alone. Tobio touched the center of his chest, where he supposed his soul would be, and pressed down there.

His phone chimed on his desk and without looking at the ID, he knew it was Hinata (the only other person who ever texted him was his mom).

_natsu literally ate my algebra hw ;;;;-;;;; at least i have an excuse 2 why i ddnt do it ???? :D_

Tobio felt something lift in his chest and smiled slightly as he typed back his reply.

_Idiot._

Sometimes Tobio feels Blue, but warm blankets, soft words, and silly texts bring him back to the world and make him feel grounded.

 

 

**3.**

Sometimes, Tobio felt Red.

Most of the time it was dumbass Hinata’s fault, and this time was no different.

Hinata just didn’t _understand_ that he didn’t _need_ to think so hard about their quick when Tobio could do all the thinking for the both of them. All he had to do was jump, but _no,_ he wanted to make it complicated by actually trying to improve his skills. They had been trying the quick for what felt like hours with not one successful play on their belts. Tobio felt a burning in his gut and glared at Hinata and he landed and yelled, _“Once more!”_ after yet _another_ unsuccessful toss and miss-hit.

“The first round of the Spring High Preliminaries is next month. That’s right around the corner.” Tobio grabbed the collar of Hinata’s practice shirt and glared down at him, stopping the other from moving back into his running position. “When that time comes, what’s our weapon gonna be, the perfected quick strike, or the quick strike that’s completely useless right now?! Well?!”

Hinata scrunches his nose and narrows his eyes, beads of sweat pooling up on his face. Tobio ground his teeth together in frustration. Hinata didn’t think his toss was good _enough_ for him —didn’t think it would get him past blockers like it once did.

“I want the strength to fight on my own!” Hinata yelled, grabbing onto the wrist of Tobio to prove his point even further. Tobio took this as a threat and pushed Hinata completely away from him, leaving Hinata flat on his butt. The fire in his gut blared in his ears and Tobio pushed his hair from his forehead as to better clear his head.

“You’re going to destroy the team’s balance with your selfishness!” Tobio insisted to the aghast Hinata, his thoughts returning to his junior high days. At Hinata’s silence, Tobio took a breath and continued, “‘I’ll toss the ball to anyone, so long as they are essential to achieving victory.’” He turned to walk away, his shoulders tense and his teeth ground. “The same holds true, even now.”

(This was a lie. Tobio would always toss to Hinata—would always want to toss to Hinata.)

Hinata, slightly taken aback from the familiar and triggering statement, grit his teeth from behind Tobio and charged at him, screaming his name.

Tobio doesn’t remember the fight well; only the burning feeling in his blood and the shaky vision as himself and Hinata grabbed and pushed and hit each other, both so wound up they weren’t even aware of Yachi running away screaming for help. There’s a fire in his veins as he pushes a yelling Hinata off of himself only for the decoy to make a grab for his face and end up scratching his cheek. Tobio grunts and pushes the others face away, probably pressing a little too hard as he does so. Tobio swears Hinata can feel the heat under his skin, but the other grabs and yanks at his shirt without a second thought, ignoring it. This continues until Tanaka rushes in and pulls them apart, Tobio storming out without a second word to anyone after collecting his shoes by the door.

It’s two days later and Tobio still feels the slight burn of the heat in his blood, like a slight humm under his skin. There’s a line of a scratch from one of Hinata’s nails catching on the skin of his cheek, but other than that the only bruised part of Tobio is the fact that he’s probably ruined the only good friendship he’s ever had. Which is, admittedly, kind of sad considering Hinata thinks of them as rivals, but. Still. He’s mindlessly walking around completely lost in his thoughts before realizing his subconscious had taken him to the spot of his first encounter with Hinata.

Tobio walks the steps to the school in a sort of daze, thinking of Hinata’s confession and tears after their match against one another in junior high. He’s lost in his thoughts when an annoyingly familiar voice carries from the entrance to the building.

Both Oikawa and Tobio make inhumane sounds as they recognize one another (and for such a handsome guy, Oikawa Tooru sure does make some ugly faces. Tobio wishes he had the thought to take a picture, even though he's sure his face isn't any cuter).

“Tobio!” Oikawa exclaimed while Tobio lets out a strangled, “Oikawa-san,” as a thought occurred to him.

“I… May need your assistance.” There was a pit in Tobio’s stomach as he tried to get Oikawa to help him, practically begging as Oikawa cackled and took pictures of Tobio’s bowing form at his expense. Once Oikawa finally agrees, Tobio jumped around his problems in a roundabout way as to not let out the heat in his veins, to keep himself cool and contained.

“Hold it,” Oikawa interrupts. “If you want to talk about something, stop with the crappy examples and just say it straight.” Tobio stiffens at Oikawa’s taunting look but continues anyway.

“Hinata said,” he stats again, “That he ‘wants to hit the ball of his own will’ in the quick strike that he’d been hitting all this time without looking.”

Oikawa makes a noise of surprise. “Huh. If he could, that’d be incredible. Give it a shot.” He obviously didn’t understand the situation then, Tobio thought.

“Please don’t be quick to say that! Hinata doesn’t have any skill!”

“And so you told him, ‘just move as I tell you to,’ right?” Tobio immediately shut up, his expression turning to one of shock as Oikawa looked slightly pleased. “Just like a dictator, hmm?” Tobio could feel something mixing in with the burn under his skin, but didn’t know enough about what he was feeling in order to give it a name. “Have you considered this? That the little guy will be responding to his desired toss a hundred percent, after having put in the effort to do so?” Oikawa’s expression changed to something more taunting, “getting it into your head that the present situation is best and sticking to it is pretty cowardly, isn’t it?”

Tobio opens his mouth to say something, to possibly defend himself because yeah, Hinata was terrible at most things, but if he could do anything and excel at it, it was the ability to want to do better, and when he put his mind to something he did it.

“Don’t misunderstand,” Oikawa said, almost as though he was reading Tobio’s mind. “The one who takes the initiative in attacks is the little guy, not you.” Oikawa turned from him after that, leaving Tobio to ponder his jumbled thoughts on his own. “If you can’t understand that, you’ll revert back to being a tyrant king.”

As Tobio listened to the sounds of Oikawa’s humming further and further, he thought about Hinata, biting his lower lip raw. He now knows what needs to be done and what needs to be said, but saying what needs to be is difficult and Tobio can’t do it on his own.

Sometimes Tobio feels Red, but in order to feel Red one has to care, and Tobio supposes that is enough for now.

 

 

4.

Sometimes Tobio felt Yellow.

Tobio is sore from their punishments at the training camp (his thighs burn and his biceps and triceps are sore, but it's a welcomed feeling that Tobio thinks of as a sort of trophy as it shows how far he’s come in such a short period of time), but the tape around his fingers and calluses on his palms from his setting practices are enough motivation to keep him going throughout the day and pushpushpush until he can stop the ball mid air for his partner. Even Hinata, who has been staying up as late as himself, is slightly more chipper this morning than the last, having told Tobio (through mouthfuls of food) of his lessons last night with Bokuto-san and being an umbrella and what he learned about doing a soft block.

With the promise of a meat feast at the end of the day, Tobio kept in high spirits as he took the court one last time at the Tokyo training camp. His head felt level and even, like an ocean without waves on a cloudless day. Still, collected, in control. His stomach felt empty, but his energy had yet to be diffused. Tobio felt at one with his body, like he knew just how much to put into every step and movement without giving up too much energy. The match was going better than the others that week--the whole team it seemed was putting their all into every play and incorporating what they’d learned.

Hinata looked good, too, Tobio noted as they jump blocked together. The ball hit off Hinata’s hand in a soft block and, after Noya’s receive, Tobio centered himself to set. He felt ready, like their new quick would actually become a reality, but the possibility of failing while the team was in such a good rhythm was risky and that possibility was nerve-wracking enough-

Hinata, without any warning whatsoever, took off at an early run _(minus tempo,_ Tobio remembered Hinata mumbling one night in his sleep before getting a dopey look on his face and slobbering into his pillow), causing Tobio to react quickly and without any real thought process going on. If the quick worked, everything would be fine and they could go home knowing they could work on it more and improve it, but if they screwed it up, the whole rhythm of the match would change. Tobio glanced at Hinata who was already looking at him, arms spread in his jump, his brown eyes fierce and confident, and set without a second though (if you asked Tobio, he’d tell you something cocky about why he’d chosen to set to Hinata and try the quick rather than stay safe with Tanaka and Asahi, but the truth was he trusted the decoy more than he trusted himself in that moment and felt like their eyes connected for _minutes_ rather than the millisecond that they did, giving him all the hope he needed to take a chance and at least _try)._

The sound of the ball hitting Hinata’s palm and then the floor echoed for a few seconds as both teams stood in a stunned silence. The freak duo turned towards each other, smiles bloodmed on their faces, and quiet, giddy laughter leaving their lips. Kageyama felt a warmth in his heart, like a flower finally, _finally_ blooming after a long winter. Hinata looked as though he could jump straight into space (and like he already had with all the stars in his eyes as he looked at Kageyama, _his_ genius setter) and Tobio made a grab for Hinata’s jersey to scold him for not communicating with him as to rid Himself of the warm tightness in his heart.

“But there was this ‘we can pull it off this time’ feeling, wasn’t there?! Right?!” Hinata looked at Tobio like he had just given him a year supply of meat buns, and Tobio just stared at him because there were so many emotions that wanted to show on his face that he got stuck somewhere between constipated and vaguely pissed off. Hinata grabbed Tobio’s wrist that was on his jersey and Tobio felt flowers bloom under Hinata’s palm and felt giddy with pure happiness as the success of their new quick sinks in.

“That was amazing!” Hinata gushed, swinging his arms around and moving from side to side, his voice all exclamation points. “It stopped right in front of me, y’know?! It was all like _shoom!!_ This time, I definitely felt it coming, but when it stops right in front of you for real, it’s scary, y’know?!” Hinata suddenly stops as his eyes go wide, looking up at Tobio with complete sincerity as he yells:

 _“You really are incredible!”_   There are stars in his eyes and sweat on his face and Tobio feels his face heat up uncharacteristically due to the praise. Everyone can see the flower blooming from his chest—he _knows_ it —but Hinata is still yelling, _“Incredible!! Amazing!!”_ And holding his palm out for Tobio to see the red skin there from his amazing toss. “One more time!” He demands, fist pumping the air as the rest of Karasuno join in on the celebrations and excitement.

Although they don’t get in another successful quick, the flower sits happily in the center of Tobio’s chest with every point they receive from a new technique (even Tsukishima’s block, the asshole). Tobio goes through his punishment for losing with a sense of pride, the knowledge of the barbecue to come fueling the whole team as they take their lap of flying falls around the court.

“If only our quicks were more successful, we probably could’ve taken that set from Fukurodani.” Tobio muttered as he walked outside, squirting water into his mouth just to spit out again—like he was getting the bad taste of defeat out of his mouth. Hinata, always excited, always positive, always _there_ thumps him on the back, a determined look in his eyes.

“But with this we can fight. Even if they read what we’re gonna do and chase after us, we can fight!” At this, Hinata reaches towards the sky, as if he was reaching for the sun itself instead of the Nationals stage (knowing Hinata, he probably was). Tobio felt himself smiling and shook his head quickly to get rid of the look in case anyone was watching.

“That depends on my toss you know...” He reminded Hinata glancing at him briefly.

Hinata just smiled at him, “You’ll pull it off eventually, so it’ll be fine." 

Tobio tsked him, his frown deepening, “don’t go deciding stuff for other people as you see fit!” (Despite his rude words, Tobio internally beamed at the praise and felt his cheeks darken as his heart jumped slightly in his chest. He _obviously_ needs to eat if Hinata praising him gives him this type of reaction.)

“Does that mean you won’t be able to?” Hinata taunted, grinning at Tobio who fumbled and stutted for words.

“Of course I will, dumbass!” Tobio made a grab for Hinata’s hair, but the other ducked around the attack and stuck his tongue out at Tobio in a very Oikawa-esq way. Tobio managed to grab hold of Hinata’s head, but instead of pulling away the other turned to look into Tobio’s eyes. Hinata grinned at Tobio, his sunshine smile livening the flower in Tobio’s chest.

“That’s just like I said, then!” Tobio stared at Hinata, wanting to tell him everything (even though he didn’t quite know what everything _was),_ but decided on something else (something better?).

“Let’s practice the quick for a bit.” Hinata nodded his head under Tobio’s warm palm, practically vibrating at the idea.

“Yeah!”

Sometimes Tobio feels Yellow, and he thinks this is the best feeling as long as there is someone willing and there to share it with. Someone who understands him.

 

**5.**

Sometimes Tobio feels Purple.

It’s a complex feeling—a jumbled mix of actions and emotions that sometimes don't make sense at all.

Few things in life make Tobio feel purple. One is volleyball, for obvious reasons, but there’s also his mom’s cooking, his mom as a whole, rain showers with the sun still shining, small animals (although they don’t take a particular liking to him), and new volleyball shoes or knee pads. They're all shades of purple, different yet the same all at once—his mom being the darkest, the most secure, the _warmest,_ with the little animals a lighter shade, more near a lilac.

Purple is like the flute parts in symphonies. Fluttering near the surface, light and airy, sometimes getting lost in the sea of sounds. It soars above the swell of music, disappearing in clouds of cellos and violins, before reappearing once again, twinkling into the center of the sound as the melody.

When Tobio started at Karasuno, he figured the feeling was due to finally feeling like he belonged somewhere and making friends (although Tsukishima wasn't really a friend, more so an asshole who he had to get along with in order to succeed). He finally had friends who wanted to hang out with him and vise versa.

But now, as he sits on his bed as Shōyō twirls around in his desk chair, he realizes that there are different shades of purple, and that Shōyō has his own.

It's not like Daichi’s, Suga’s, or Asahi's which is a blue-purple, something that's deep and safe and makes Tobio grin with pride because these people are his _friends_ (albeit them being older than him) and he cares for them and what they think of him greatly. It's not like Yamaguchi’s which is a bright neon just like his close friends (one of his closest friends at that) demeanor when he’s stripped of his anxiety and self-doubt.

It hadn't been any different from Yamaguchi's or Yachi’s at the start, but it slowly bloomed into a feeling Tobio didn't know he could even possess and it takes him nearly three years to notice.

And, like most emotions, it creeps up on him.

It happens when they're in the summer before their third year. Tobio is lounging in his desk chair, legs sprawled out as sweat drips from his hairline down his back with Shōyō starfished out on the floor of his room, sweating just as much. The small fan in his room buzzes as it's cranked all the way up, but the cool air only touches their skin for a few moments before turning away to blow the cool air on the rest of the room. His window is wide open to let in the summer breeze as the window screen keeps mosquitos and other bugs at bay. Shōyō is babbling about their upcoming term and the team and who will be the captains and Tobio watches him silently with a small smile on his face.

“-I mean, you'll obviously be a captain.” Shōyō says suddenly, surprising Tobio and causing the other to blush (Tobio blames it on the heat and the blood flow from their workout).

“I dunno,” Tobio says, tilting his head in thought. “I always thought Yam’s would be a better fit.”

“Maybe, but…” Shōyō trails off and grins at Tobio, sitting up. “You deserve it! With how hard you've worked and how far you've come, you'd be an amazing captain!” Shōyō pushes at Tobio's leg as to further prove his point and Tobio just gives him a Look that he hopes hides the fact that his heart is racing in his chest. The thought that Shōyō thinks this highly of him thrills Tobio and warms him from his head to his toes.

“Well, what about you? I could say all the same things about you, you know.” Tobio counters, moving to flick Shōyō’s forehead and grinning at the sound his finger makes on it. His best friend rubs the spot on his forehead in mock pain but grins goofily up at Tobio, his eyes crinkling slightly at the corners. Shōyō’s smile is the only thing that hasn't changed as he grew into himself. It's still as heart stopping as it was the first time it was unleashed on Tobio, except now the effect of it is greater as it usually happens in private moments shared between the two.

“I can't imagine myself bossing people around.”

“And you expect that of me?” Tobio playfully kicks Shōyō’s side which causes the other to topple over as laugher rakes through his body.

“It’d be more scary if you never bossed people around!” Shōyō continues his laughter, clutching his sore stomach as Tobio growls at him, pushing the other away with his foot. Shōyō calms himself down slightly and grins cheekily up at Tobio, “you know I'm messing around, Tobio. Besides, no one thinks any less of you because of it. It's you.”

Tobio looks away from Shōyō because if he didn't he'd probably say something stupid and embarrassing and the other wouldn't let him forget about it for a week.

“Don't call me Tobio, dumbass.” He says instead, grabbing for the water bottle on his desk and taking a swig.

“But we’ve come so faaaar,” Shōyō wines, latching himself onto Tobio’s left leg and resting his chin on his knee. He grins up at him contently and Tobio find himself reaching down to ruffle Shōyō’s newly cut hair, the buzzed undercut foreign under his fingers.

“I can't believe you shaved off some of your fluff.” Tobio muses, tugging on the strands of Shōyō’s hair and grinning when the other squawks at the sudden pain. “And,” he adds, flicking Shōyō's right ear. “Got a piercing.”

“You're just jealous the only thing you got was _glasses,_ Nerdy-chan!” Shōyō sticks his tongue out at Tobio and Tobio snorts, used to Shōyō's attempts to rile him up.

“I’d rather be nerdy and in a higher class than be someone who looks cool.” Tobio sniffs, picking up his discarded glasses to place them back on his nose. “Anyways, I usually wear contacts so you're one of the only people who's seen me in them.”

Shōyō blinks somewhat stupidly at this and pulls back from Tobio slightly. There’s an evenness to his tone that Tobio hasn't ever heard before when he asks, “So, I'm special?”

“You're…” Tobio looks at the other and opens his mouth to reply _(my best friend, my ace, my sun, something more?)._ All the words he wants to stay stick in his throat at Shōyō's leveled stare. He hasn't felt this nervous since Nationals their first year and Tobio kind of hates it (read: he loves it). “You're Shōyō.”

There's so much to be said, but so much has already been said with just his name. Tobio can't tell if it's the summer heat or his words that make Shōyō's face flush, but the latter thought thrills him and makes his own face darken a tone. Hinata opens his mouth to say something, but the sound of Tobio’s mom calling them down for dinner cuts him off.

“We should…” Tobio trails off, nodding towards the door with his head. Shōyō just nods and Tobio pulls his outstretched hands up to help him stand.

Dinner is nice. Shōyō keeps the conversation flowing with Tobio's mother while his friend chooses to sit quietly and only chime in every once in awhile. Tobio and Shōyō are sat on one side of the table with Tobio’s mother on the other (and if she notices anything about the secret glances the two are giving one another she chooses to ignore it out of respect for the two pining boys).

“So I take it you're both excited for season, yes? It's the last time you'll be playing together, correct?” Mother prompts. Tobio and Shōyō glance at one another, one worried and the other dismissive.

“We’ll always be playing together! We're going all the way to the top as the dynamic duo.” Shōyō says confidently, scooping up curry and rice as he talks.

Tobio’s mouth feels dry as he watches his best friend, butterflies or something equally disgusting erupting in his stomach in a slightly uncomfortable (read: foreign) way. When the other glances over, curry and rice hung just inches from his mouth and a questioning _“what?”_ on his lips, Tobio pushes his face into his chopsticks and smears seasoning on his face to help get rid of the feeling.

Shōyō squawks at Tobio's sudden act and shoves his grinning friend away, complaining about breaking out and unclean skin.

(Under the table, Tobio hooks their ankles together in a silent apology and Shōyō’s grin brightens mid sentence, his wording becoming slightly stumbled in the process. Tobio hides his smile behind his next bite of curry and his mother pretends not to notice anything.)

“I can't believe you did that.” Shōyō wines two hours later in the safety of Tobio's room. He flops on Tobio's futon and burrows into the blankets, content and full of home-cooked food. “If I break out it's completely your fault.”

Tobio snorts and nudges Shōyō over with his foot to settle on the bedding as well, the smaller pushed towards the wall. “That's fine with me.” It's nearly time for them to fall asleep if they want to maintain some type of normal sleeping schedule, and Tobio glances at Shōyō as the others fidgeting causes the bed to creak and the blankets under him to rub against one another rather loudly.

“What?” Shōyō asks under Tobio's stare, and it's here, in his room at nearly ten at night, that Tobio realizes what the feeling is. It's here, with Shōyō laying against his pillow, sleep in his eyes and summertime freckles on his cheeks that he realizes. And, oh.

“Oh,” Tobio says aloud, causing Shōyō to furrow his eyebrows together in confusion. A thought occurs to him and he asks, “remember in our first year when I got invited to that training camp and you were ready to go with me? Why?”

“Oh,” Shōyō repeats, blushing slightly and it's so enduring Tobio wants to smother his face with a pillow. “Well I mean, obviously I was jealous of you because you were getting all this recognition while I was being pushed aside again, but then another reason was because, well,” he blushes a deeper shade and reaches to Tobio to play with the hem of the sleeve of his t-shirt. “I didn't want anyone to practice with you because you were my setter and I was your spiker.”

“Oh,” Tobio says the third time, letting the information sink in. He suddenly really wants to kiss Shōyō. His hands are clammy and his stomach is clenching and his heart is fluttering and he is going to kiss Shōyō. Tobio turns to his friend, moving his body to hover slightly over the other.

“What are you-” Shōyō's voice is cut off because Tobio's mouth is on is and, well. It isn't the best kiss in history; this is mostly due to the fact that Tobio is kissing Shōyō mid sentence as his lips catch part of the others teeth, and both too shocked by the other to even properly kiss.

“Oh,” Shōyō says, softer, when Tobio pulls away a second after the kiss begins.

“Oh.” Tobio repeats, heart hammering in his chest. Shōyō’s eyes are wide and clear and he looks so soft and small where Tobio is hovering over him. It's a sight he engraves into his brain for later. Shōyō licks his lips and chews on his bottom one in a somewhat nervous way (Tobio notices how pink and soft they look for the first time and there’s a heat in the pit of his stomach that hasn't been there before and, wow, he really likes Shōyō a lot).

“I've kind of been waiting a long time for that, so if we could do it again that'd be nice.” Shōyō says, eyes on Tobio's lips. “Yeah.” Tobio breaths, ducking his head down again.

(The second time is better, with one of Tobio’s hands on Shoyo’s face and the other holding his body weight up as to not crush the others, and Shōyō’s hands in Tobio’s hair and on his broad shoulders. Suddenly, memories from the past three years play like a slideshow behind Tobio’s eyes, and he starts smiling so hard he has to pull away. It's okay, though, because Shōyō is grinning, too, and is tugging him back down by his shirt a second later because kissing is _nice_ and kissing the person you've liked for years is even nicer. Tobio finds he has to agree as he slots his legs between Shōyō's and presses his mouth down in a fiercer kiss.)

(They kiss like they used to fight in their first year, both pushing to keep up with the other. They're soon breathless though, and have to pull away, but it's alright because Shōyō nuzzles into Tobio’s neck and Tobio traces his fingers around the freckles on Shōyō’s face and across his nose, and it's so utterly _them_ that Tobio grins as he ducks down to smother his partners face in kisses.)

Sometimes, Tobio feels Purple, and it's an emotion that feels best when it's shared.

 

**6.**

Sometimes, Tobio feels Orange.

Scratch that, Tobio has someone who is Orange.

They're fiery and bright and the person who's always pushed him the hardest and expected the most out of him, and Tobio loves them and they love Tobio and everything is great and Orange and Tobio couldn't be happier.

“Tobio!” Shōyō yells as he bursts into the gym, waving a piece of paper around as he runs to his partner, his sunniest smile on his face. Tobio stops the serve he was about to show the first years and pushes his sweaty hair from his eyes. “I got accepted! I got accepted! We're going to Uni!”

Tobio barely has time to drop the volleyball he was using before Shōyō is jumping straight into his arms, wrapping his arms around his neck and his legs around his waist. Tsukki tsks and covers the first years eyes as Shōyō peppers Tobio’s face with kisses, laughing and grinning all the while. Tobio spins them around with the brightest smile he's ever had on his face, rubbing Shōyō's forehead against his own in an Eskimo kiss.

“I'm so proud of you.” Tobio tells him, his heart soaring at the thought of spending the next four years with his own personal sun. “Let's practice that quick of ours and show these kids what volleyball really is.”

“Hell yeah!” Shōyō cheers, already back in Volleyball Mode.

Later, when they're sweaty and changing out of their practice uniforms significantly slower than the rest of the team, Yamaguchi rolls his eyes and tosses Tobio the keys.

“Don't stay out too long. Get some rest you too!” He calls over his shoulder as he and Tsukishima leave the club room with the close of the iron door.

Shōyō practically pounces on Tobio once the door closes, his fingers already tangling in Tobio’s hair the way he knows drives the other crazy as he tugs him down in a frantic and needy kiss.

“We did it!” Shōyō cheers between kisses, nosing the side of Tobio's jaw. “We’re going to university together!”

“I never doubted it.” Tobio tells him quietly, hugging the other to his chest. “I knew you could do it.”

Shōyō pulls back from their embrace and pokes Tobio's sturdy chest with his finger. “Oi, don't make it sound like it was any easier for you Mr. Barely-Passed-Basic-Math.”

 _“Ouch,”_ Tobio says, giving Shōyō a mock pained look and turning his head away from Shōyō’s apology kiss.

“Hey!” Shōyō wines, grabbing Tobio's face to center it and planting a sloppy kiss on his nose. Shōyō grins up at him happily and ducks his head under Tobio’s chin in a hug.

“You're my best friend, I'm glad we get to do this together.” (Translation: I love you.)

“You're my best friend too, you dumbass. I wouldn't do it without you.” (Translation: I love you, too.)

Tobio has someone who is Orange. Someone who pushes him, loves him, knows him inside and out. And that, Tobio realizes, is the best of any and all emotions.

**Author's Note:**

> find me at fondtae.tumblr.com if you wanna yell about kagehina and kag's character development (":


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